• Various

My Angel Sammy

My roller-coaster started 2wks before Sammy was born, when they discovered at an ultrasound, that he was poorly, I was at work when I got a frantic call telling me to get home, I'm a lorry driver and was in Wales.

We'd managed to get an appointment on Saturday morning with a specialist at Princess Anne Hospital in Southampton, who diagnosed Hydrops, which is fluid in the skin, chest cavity and abdomen. This was drained and a chest drain was placed (absolutely amazing). Over the next week or so regular check-ups.

We went for a scan on the day he was born, when they found he was getting distressed and worse, so emergency C-section it was, 3 months early. The consultant came to see us (Dr Death we named him) and told us Sammy had less than a 2% chance of making it out of the delivery room.

As soon as he was delivered he cried, and was rushed to the NICU. 8hrs later we got to see him, on life support, then told he wouldn't make the night, he did, he's 2nd day was ok, but that night he crashed, I ran up 6 flights of stairs to get his mum, as I promised she'd be their at the end, got back to him, mum got next to him and held his hand, and all his stats came back up (I could of killed him).

The next couple of weeks, he was always 50/50, the doctors didn't actually know what was wrong with him, so couldn't really treat it. In his 4wk he started to improve, and his mum got her first hold, and we thought we'd turned the corner, then on day 29, it was a Wednesday afternoon, we'd been out with his brothers, as we got back to the Ronald McDonald House, we both got calls telling us to get over to NICU now.

His mum legged it and I got the Ronald McDonald staff to watch the boys, I got to the unit just has he picked his stats back up (I think he was trying to give me a heart attack) we sorted child care for our other 2, and stayed with him, then that evening he suffered a major bleed from the lungs.

We then had the hardest decision to make, to keep fighting and seeing him suffer, and not know his quality of life, or palliative care, we choose the latter. I went to explain to our other 2 boys, and then Sammy, his mum and me were moved to a private family room, where everything was disconnected, and his mum got to hold him, 3hrs later he died, in his mum's arms.

The following morning we brought his brothers over to see him and hold him, and had a photographer from Remember My Baby come and take pictures of us all together. We all spent the night in the family room as a family, the Friday the undertaker's came to collect him, and it was his mum who wrapped him and placed him in his body bag, we'd been dealt a shit hand and we did everything we could, right up to the end.


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